House of Wax

Jaume Collet-Serra 2005

A group of teenagers on their way to a football game experience car trouble and set of to the nearest town for help. There in the eerily quiet township, they find the House of Wax (the building is actually all made of wax you know) and soon one by one the teenagers start to die. Considering the cinematic mortality rate for teenagers, I am amazed that anyone under twenty has the courage to leave their houses for fear of being dispatched by a knife/axe/chainsaw wielding maniac.

This is a loose remake of a 1953 Vincent Price movie that was the first film by a major Hollywood studio to be done in 3D, hence if you watch it now there are many moments where things move towards the audience. Anyway, I digress since this film has little to do with the original plot.

I have rarely seen a film where so many obnoxious characters are gathered together, and no, I am not talking about the killers but rather the teenage hero’s of the piece. Vacuous, self-centered and bland, the writers obviously gave little thought to these characters and probably viewed them pretty much like that goat in ‘Jurassic park’. This film does boast some pretty nasty death scenes but the intense apathy I felt towards the victims meant that the affect was lessened.

Apart from a lot of actors I haven’t heard of, we are treated to Paris Hilton having a go at acting. She’s famous for being rich and proving that night vision cameras have other uses than just hunting ghosts. Considering she doesn’t say or do much she actually did an ok job; trust me that high praise coming from me.

Overall, I knew I wasn’t going to be treated to Shakespeare but they could have made the characters a bit more human and likable. As a trashy horror film its entertaining enough and if you enjoy watching good looking American teens getting killed, quite frankly who doesn’t enjoy that, then this is the film for you.